Why Is He Ignoring Me All Of a Sudden

Why Is He Ignoring Me All Of a Sudden

When your guy starts ignoring you all of a sudden this is a warning flag. Something isn’t right. If a guy is smitten with you, he is not going to ignore you. Quite the opposite, he wants to make you happy. If your are asking why is he ignoring me all of a sudden, several things could be going on.

First of all, the main reason he is ignoring you could be a simple case of he is taking you for granted. Why though? You probably think you are being a good girlfriend. You do things for him, maybe cook him nice dinners, run errands for him, anything to make his life easier. We as women are care givers. We think the more we give and do the more he will like us. This is not true. Giving more to a man does not make him cherish you more. It actually kills the attraction. You start to look like his mother. If you are doing this, there is your answer as to “why he is ignoring me”.

Often guys start to feel like they are losing their freedom. If you are checking on them, calling them, wanting to know who they are with, and where they are a guy starts to panic. He thinks oh boy, here it comes. She is starting to act like my wife. Loss of freedom is one of the biggest fears of guys. If he is feeling this, he will start ignoring you to try to get you to back off. The more you try to talk to him about this, the more he ignores you. He ignores you to keep you at arm’s length.

Make Him Desire You Again!!

You probably worry is he losing interest if he is ignoring you. If you tolerate his behavior in essence you are telling him it’s alright to treat you this way. The more you tolerate, the more he will continue. The more he continues, the more resentment that builds up in you. It’s a vicious circle. If you wonder, “why is he ignoringme”, maybe you might want to think about why he thinks he can and get away.

If you are frustrated right now with your guy did you know that you as a woman, by virtue of your femininity, have in your hands the delicious power to make a man fall in love with you, influence a man to your way of thinking, bring him to his knees, make him want to spend his life with you — and want to fulfill your every desire? Well maybe not all that, it’s a bit much to believe, but if you want to get better and I do mean really better with men and stop them from breaking up with you click here and find out why men disappear and what you can do about it.

Make Him Desire You Again!!


He Texts but Doesn’t Ask Me Out

He Texts but Doesn’t Ask Me Out

If you have a guy who calls and texts but doesn’t ask you out, it’s confusing to say the least. I mean, why on earth would he be texting everyday practically if he doesn’t want to spend time with you. The answer is simple. He doesn’t see you as a priority, just an option. He is giving you just enough to keep you hanging on.

He may have other girls that he is interested in and you may not be the only one. Can you remember a time perhaps where you had more than one guy you were talking too, but you liked one more than the other? It’s possible that if he texts but doesn’t ask you out, that you are his “other”. You could be his back up plan or back up burner girl.

If you suggest getting together, this guy may not give you a straight answer or an absolute yes. He will say something like, “I will let you know”, or “if I don’t have to work”. In other words he has an escape route already planned ahead. A man really interested in you won’t be waiting for you to suggest getting together. He will do what it takes to secure time with you.

Think about it. When have you had a guy that you likes a little, but weren’t that into so you just kind of strung him along. You used those escape routes when he wanted to pin you down to a date. You might say something like, maybe, I will let you know, and then throw out some excuse about work or whatever.

The bottom line though, if a guy texts and doesn’t ask you out he is not pursuing a relationship with you. He isn’t serious or that into you at this point. As long as you are waiting on his call, hoping he will step up, you are wasting energy. There are ways to handle these calls and texts to get him to step it up, but waiting around on him isn’t going to work. Being available and engaging in his texts with him isn’t going to make him want to see you either. Trying to pin him down doesn’t work. That just tells him you are more invested into him than he is into you and you lose all of your power.

Find out why the way you handle a man’s calls, texts and messages can greatly affect how much he wants you here at Calling Men.


3 Online Dating Profile Bloopers That Don’t Attract the Good Men

3 Online Dating Profile Bloopers That Don’t Attract the Good Men

If you have been attracting the wrong kinds of men online dating, it my be your dating profile that could be a big part of the issue. Your online dating profile could be pushing the right guys away and actually inviting the wrong guys to come after you without you even knowing. You might be shocked to know that what you think is normal in your dating profile simply does not appeal to the emotional psychology of men.

Does your online dating profile say “Must be interested in a serious relationship only”

While this may be true and yes you want a serious relationship, this can betray you.  Guys that are interested in a serious relationship don’t actually go online looking for a girlfriend or wife.  I mean think about the men that you may have received an email from that start straight out the gate pursuing a relationship with you before you even know them.  They appear needy and often desperate.   You don’t want needy and desperate do you?  The good guys, the ones you want to attract go online looking for a date that could turn into something more.

An emotionally stable man will read that and often think that you will try to trap him before he gets to know you.  He thinks you are too serious and no fun.  He will feel pressure before he even gets past reading your profile and likely pass you by.

On the other hand what saying you want a serious relationship could attract is men who are commitment addicts, as well as players or scammers that will take advantage of you.  They use that information to tell you what you want to hear to get sex, money or whatever.

Does your online dating profile say something like “looking for my Prince”

If your profile hints at anything like where are all the good men or princess looking for a prince, you are conveying that you may have an unrealistic look at what relationships are actually about.   Men are not as captivated by the Disney movies as women are.  This tells a man that you could just be desperate for some romance or worse, that you are high maintenance and he could never make you happy.  Real life isn’t a fairy tale and most good responsible men are very aware of this.  He passes you by and moves onto someone else.

Does You Online dating profile say something like ” My girlfriend made me do this”.

This one is a scam attractor if I ever saw it.  It tells men you don’t have a mind of your own and that you have little self confidence.  You just set yourself up to attract predators.   Confidence is a must have in your dating profile and this will show loud and clear that you don’t have any and you will attract the wrong kinds of men with this while the good guy again pass you by.

This is just a few of the many dating bloopers that you could have on your profile.  If you want to know more please watch this 4 minute video by Michal Fiore.  It blew me away.  It explains clearly why you very well may be attracting the wrong kinds of men.  You can watch it here at Online Allure.

 

 

 

 

How To Deal With Heartbreak After a Painful Breakup

How To Deal With Heartbreak After a Painful Breakup

If you have found this article then you are most likely in pain and so overwhelmed that you are seeking help on how to deal with heartbreak. Heartbreak is something that all of us have experienced unless of course we live in a bubble with no human interaction. Not very likely. I too have had to deal with heartbreak and have walked with many a woman through the healing process or sometimes just feeling better for an day or an hour.

One of the first things that one that is going through heartbreak thinks about is getting back together with the one who has broken your heart. You long to be in their arms again. While this is normal and certainly understandable, these thoughts of longings are coming from your pain. Many seem to confuse the love and the pain. The amount of pain appears to reflect the intensity of the love. In reality, perhaps the two aren’t exactly related. The love you feel for him or her is still there. It’s the dream of a life together that is gone.

If you are honest with yourself, the desire to have him back in your arms is to ease the pain. Often this is when many lose their self control and do some unproductive things that end up pushing this love of yours further away. This is why it is so important to learn how to deal with heartbreak before you do more damage to an already demised relationship. Reacting from a place of pain may feel right to you, but to others, it screams of desperation.

Understanding the Stages of Heartbreak

Heartbreak if very much like grieving death

Denial and Shock

This is the time of disbelief. This is when we just aren’t capable of any rational thoughts. We often look for tiny bits of hope during this phase that the relationship can be salvaged or the breakup is not permanent. This is when you feel the need to let him know how much he hurt you. You may want to call or text him that you miss him.  Don’t.

Anger

Angry at your ex (how could he do this), anger at God, (why me, why do I always get hurt). Anger at others, (how could my friend still be friends with him after what he did to me). This is often the stage where you want to text him or send give him a piece of your mind. Don’t.

Bargaining

This is when you bargain with yourself, God or perhaps even bargain with your ex. You make claims to do what it takes to reconcile the relationship. You will get help, seek counseling, stop being jealous, whatever it takes.

Depression

The depression in heartbreak is often from a feeling of hopelessness. There seems to be nothing you can do to change or alter the outcome. It’s over, said and done. This is the time that many go into isolation, sleep a lot, eat too little or too much and just have no drive to do much of anything.

Acceptance

You begin to have moments of being at peace with the breakup. The sadness may still come and go, but you actually wake up and don’t feel paralyzed by the pain. You begin to laugh again. You are smiling again and it doesn’t feel like your gut is being ripped out when you hear his name. You begin to let go and move forward with your life again.

deal with heartbreak

Victim or Warrior in Your Heartbreak

Knowing these signs can help. Understanding that you will move through them in no particular order and bounce back and forth. Give yourself permission to grieve. Cry and get it out. Feel the emotions. Know that the pain will lessen. I know it doesn’t help to tell you that this too will pass, but it will.

I have worked with many a woman through heartbreak. Many struggle with how to deal with heartbreak. Some breeze through it and some take longer. I have often question what the difference is between the woman that stays stuck for years over the woman that begins to move on in a few months. While I don’t have exact answers to this, I do have some insight.

The woman that already seems to know how to deal with heartbreak often has what I call a warrior heart. She realizes she has a choice over continuing to see herself as a victim or as a Warrior and she makes the choice to be a Warrior. She looks for lessons, not excuses. She seeks support, not sympathy. She loves herself enough to know that fixing what is broken may not serve her after all. She realizes that not getting what she wants is not the end, but often the beginning.

Our first instinct is to fix what is broken. If that includes changing who you are to accommodate or get love, she just isn’t willing. If it means settling and great sacrifice, she opts out and puts her own heart first. She strives to forgive herself and her ex lover for what was done or not done. She realizes that love is often about letting go, not holding on.

If you are at the stage where all you can think about is getting him back, please understand that often going back while you are still in pain or to ease your pain is likely to end up just prolonging the inevitable, the demise of the relationship. Take the time to heal and get your emotions under control and then decide if this relationship is really worth salvaging.   Sometimes reconciliation is possible, and you can read more about when and how that happens over time here.

How Long Should You Wait to Have Sex With a Man You Are Dating!

How Long Should You Wait to Have Sex With a Man You Are Dating!

Women stress about this subject. They often ask me how long should you wait to have sex. They worry if they have sex too soon, he will disappear. One wise dating guru I know says 10 dates. If he is into you he will wait. That’s all fine and well and while I don’t think it’s a bad idea, I think there is too much placed on the importance of sex and what it means.

Women naturally feel closer to the man after sex, while men feel closer to the woman before sex. It’s a chemical thing. Oh the Gods! What a cruel joke. Actually it’s to ensure we continue to multiply so I get it, but still. Picture this. It’s a first date and there has been dynamic sexual tension all night. He feels really intune with her. She isn’t sure, but she has sex any way. Now after wards, thanks to the Gods, she now feels connected. Women who feel connected start to share. He isn’t feeling so connected now. See how this can turn him off and make him disappear.

That being said, it’s really how you act after sex that counts. If you behave like you are now in a relationship and start do girlfriend things, you may scare him off. This tells him not only is it easy to sleep with you, it’s easy to win your heart. That’s the key to this all. It’s your heart. While yes your body is sacred, it’s your heart that holds the true value of who you are. It’s this that makes him disappear more so than the fact you had sex too soon.

A man can sense the reasons for you having sex. He knows if you are doing it just to please him and he knows if you are doing it from a place of desperation or loneliness. A woman who knows her own heart and mind and it’s value gives off a completely different vibe. If after sex she isn’t eager to jump into a relationship because sex does not qualify him alone, she gains and maintains his respect. He senses she isn’t convinced yet that he is boyfriend material and this throws him for a loop. Most women are the opposite.

Another mistake women make after they sleep with a man is they apologize and try to tell the man this isn’t something they usually do. Save it. He won’t believe it. He has heard it before. You are an adult, take responsibility for what you did and don’t act like it’s something terrible. It won’t make him feel very good that is for sure. It may make him feel guilt and you can bet he probably will disappear and won’t sleep with you again. The path to a man’s heart is how you make him feel.

If you don’t know the value of your self, or if you are unsure of his intentions and this matters to you, then waiting is probably best. Understand this though. It may be months before you can be sure of his intentions, maybe longer. If you have had more men disappear than stay, it may be a good idea to take that 10 date rule until you learn how to judge a man’s intentions more clearly or be at ease if his intentions don’t match yours.

When deciding how long should you wait to have sex, think of it this way. Sex isn’t really the issue so much. The real issue is not how long should you wait to have sex. The issue is your heart. Some think with holding sex is being hard to get. It’s not really. Hard to get is with holding your heart until he has given you proof that he knows how to handle it with care. This should be your focus, not the sex. Sex will not get or keep a man.

Make Him Desire You!!

Signs He Is Falling For You

Signs He Is Falling For You

In the beginning of the dating process it’s a good rule to not pay much attention to what they say but more of what they do. This is true for all stages of dating. Guys  have been know to tell you what they think you want to hear. If you want to know the signs he is falling for you, it’s in his actions, rarely in his words.

A guy that is falling for you will stay in contact. He will not go missing in actions for days or weeks. He won’t take the chance that someone else will snatch you up. He will call almost daily, and text you often. If he is not doing this, take it as a sign he is not yet there or falling for you.

Other signs he is falling for you are securing time with you and not leaving it up to chance, securing time in advance and not at the last minute, and securing time alone with you. If he is doing these things, chances are good he is falling for you.

A guy that is falling in love with you will take you out among his peers and friends. He will be proud to be seen with you. He will not limit dates to just your place or his. If you find yourself always hanging out at his place or yours, you are more than likely just a friend with benefits, someone to occupy his time until he finds the one.  You will not feel like an option, but more like a priority in his life.

One of the big signs a guy is falling for you is he will want to do little things for you. He wants to be your hero. It may be simple things like change a light bulb, bring you lunch by, bring you flowers even if they came from his front yard. A guy that is into you will bend over backwards to make you smile.

Another one of the signs he is falling for you is he shares with you.  He tells you about his day, his friends, his family.  You notice that he is slowly including you into his life.

It happens all the time, we are with a guy doing the guessing game and then one day he just starts pulling back and we feel the distance. Is there anything we can do to make him fall for us, what is it about some women that the men just always seem to fall for them. Stop guessing and learn to be the kind of woman men adore.

Make Him Desire You!!

 

Online Dating Predators and How to Spot Them

Online Dating Predators and How to Spot Them

If you are reading this, I hope you are not doing so because you have fallen victim to an online dating predator. I hope that you are reading this because you want to avoid these predatory men. I am writing this because I am very aware as a dating coach that many women are vulnerable and seeking love and are often the target of dating predators. Until we can find a way to stop them, I hope to educate some on how to spot these online dating predators and avoid heartbreak and financial loss.

I am not on a dating site at the moment, but I get my fair share on Facebook. They aren’t limited to just dating sites. Regardless of where you encounter this scamming man, the signs are the same. Once you learn these signs, spotting an online dating predator will come naturally.

  • They often are self employed or engineers.  The travel over seas for work.  The may claim to live in your area, but for some reason are on a job in another country.
  • They are often widowed
  • They often play themselves as the single father and their pictures include these adorable children
  • Bad spelling and grammar.  English is often Not their native language
  • Professional pictures.  Online dating predators often don’t use their own pictures.  If he looks like a model, beware.
  • They start out with looking for a relationship or wife.  Seriously, men really don’t do this.
  • The escalate to endearments very quickly.  They tell you they are falling in love in a matter of a couple of weeks.
  • They want to move you off the site and to instant messaging or texting immediately.

Now note, some online dating predators appear to have excellent grammar and spelling in their profiles and this can be because they simply copied and pasted their profile together from other dating sites from other men.  Some that are more advanced will talk to you on the phone.  If the area code it the same as yours, this is not a sign necessarily that he is legit.  With technology today, phone numbers can be masked.  If you do get on the phone with one, listen for an accent.

One sure way to spot an online dating predator is to do a reverse image search in Google. Below is a video that will show you this simple process of how I have recently detected two of these online dating scammers.

If you have attracted this men in your online dating, it very well could be a few things in your profile that unknowing to you actually attract them.  You can read about it here at 3 online dating profile bloopers that attract the wrong men. 

If you have any more tips on how to spot these guys, please share in the comments below so we can help others not fall prey. If you know a way to stop them or slow them down, please share that too!


Internet's Top Dating Coach - Evan Marc Katz - offers dating and relationship advice to smart, strong, successful women... Click here to find out more!


 

Should I Tell Him How I Feel

Should I Tell Him How I Feel

This is a common question with women in my world. The start seeing a guy and feel a strong connection and they feel this urge to tell him how they feel. Now there are the many that will tell you if you ask should I tell him how I feel, that of course you should. If you have feelings or love someone, tell them. Oh this advice makes me shiver considering most of the time when a woman wants to tell a man how she feels or tell a man that she loves him, it’s because she is hoping for him to reciprocate. It’s rarely out of this unselfish need to share.

If she tells him how she feels or tells him that she loves him, and she gets this deer in the headlights look, or a thank you or worse, nothing at all, she is going to be disappointed. He is going to most likely pull away, and it’s over before it had a chance to even begin. If you are on a date you now have the rest of the night in awkwardness.

Most women want to tell a man how they feel because on some level, they have this hope that he feels the same way and this will cause him to tell her right back. They don’t know where they stand and they feel this is the way to find out. If you want to know how a man feels or is a man falling in love with you, watch his actions. Don’t ignore the flags. We women when we start catching this love bug or feel this huge connection do tend to accept things or ignore things that we would never do with a guy we weren’t into. We all know this is true.

So how do you know he is developing feelings for you? After a date does he call you by the next day and tell you he had a great time and wants to see you again. Is he consistently making plans and keeping in touch? Is he introducing you to his friends and family and including you in his daily life? Are you a major part of his weekend? Does he want to tell you about his day and express a real interest in yours? If so, he is most likely falling and if you hold out a bit longer, he will be the first to tell you how he feels and ask you to be exclusive.

If he is only communicating by texts, sees you at the last minute, just wants to hook up or hang out, doesn’t include you on weekend plans then it’s highly likely he isn’t on the same page as you. Telling him how you feel will not change it. He isn’t going to instantly get feeling for you because you have them for him.

If a guy is really excited about you he will put in the effort to win you over and this means consistent effort, not a last minute phone call or text asking you to meet him. Next time you are wondering should I tell him how I feel, use your head and not your heart and think about is he showing the signs of a man falling in love? If not, pull back and stop investing your heart into a man who is not investing his into you.

Number One Reason No Contact Rule Works After a Breakup

Number One Reason No Contact Rule Works After a Breakup

Why is the reason the no contact rule works? It’s really quite simple and it’s a lot about human nature. Applying the no contact rule after a breakup gives both parties a chance to calm the emotions. I am sure you have heard that it is never a good idea to react from a place of emotion. You simply can’t trust yourself because you have shut your brain off and can’t see reason when you are in pain from a break up. The pain from a break up does not end in just a few days or weeks. It takes time.

In the beginning of a break up, the emotions run high. The main focus is on what went wrong and the bad feelings. The party that initiated the breakup may feel anger. The most recent thing on their mind is the bad stuff and reasons for the breakup. Note here many relationships just aren’t meant to be reconciled. Others though often can be after a period of no contact. Forget that 30 day no contact rule. 30 days is not the magic number. Most couples that get back together with success do so months, even years down the road.

You see over time, after the emotions calm, one really does tend to start remembering the good feelings and the bad feelings take a back seat. It’s just human nature. If you have recently broken up and you remain in contact all you are doing is reminding them of the bad times because it is the freshest in their minds. They may also begin to question the ways that they had contributed to the demise of a relationship after time has passed. It is rare that this happens just weeks after a breakup. If you are hoping to get back together after a brief period of no contact it may likely be for all the wrong reasons.

A wise woman on my forum said this best.  “Right now, you are feeling sad, and missing him, so if you were to try and get him back into your life, you would be doing so from a place of weakness (lonely and missing him), as opposed to a place of strength (your life is great, and you’ve decided that having him back in it would add even more value).”  I can’t say it any better than this.

The no contact rule works because it gives both of you time to process and get some self control.  How effective do you think you will be crying and asking those million questions you have in your mind.  Not very, I promise you that.  After a break up you just don’t have the self control that you would need to reconcile from a healthy place.  Many find after their heads have cleared that they really don’t want their ex back anyway.  Either way, it’s a win win.

So find all your patience and practice the no contact rule as long as you can.  Usually if it is meant to be, fate steps in and your paths cross again. In the meantime, read Bob Grant’s book that goes in to great detail of how the no contact rule works and exactly what you should do as a last resort.  I can honestly say that book has saved me and many other women from making an ass out of ourselves and looking like a crazy woman.

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Do Men Like a Challenge and How to be a challenge Without Being a Bitch!

Do Men Like a Challenge and How to be a challenge Without Being a Bitch!

Do men like a challenge? Many women complain that men are just lazy anymore. They say the men want women to chase them. They say if they don’t make the moves, there would be no relationship at times. This of course is not being a challenge to men. They key word here though is men. Real men, emotionally healthy, ready for a relationship men do like a challenge. If you are dealing with a lazy man, may I suggest he is more of a boy?

Men like a challenge. They love competition. Most love sports and get all excited about the competition part of sports. They bet and they love to win. It’s their nature. If a woman is a challenge to a man, he sees her as valuable. The more effort he puts into winning your heart, the more special he feels. It also adds some serious cement to a relationship if the man sees the value of his woman. It’s okay to challenge a man as long as you keep letting him know he is or has a chance at winning! When thinking do men like a challenge, well do men like to win?

Many women think when I say to be a challenge, I mean playing games sort of like playing hard to get. You can be a challenge without denying your feelings for a man. You can be a challenge and not deceive him by things like pretending you are doing something when you are not to appear less available. You can just be a challenge. Think of challenge as a noun, not a verb.

Learn the Timeless Art of Hard to Get!

Some have the perception that to challenge a man requires that a woman hold back on her feelings. This is not the case. It’s not how a femininely graceful woman would do. A woman with feminine grace will always be true to herself and be able to challenge him, yet show her feelings at the same time. Ah, a fine art. A woman that knows herself knows how to challenge a man naturally.

You don’t have to hold back on your feelings as a dear friend of mine has put it below. Don’t hold back on your feelings, feel them, <i>BUT, do hold back a little bit on the information. Keep some cards hidden. Don’t tell them EVERYTHING all at once. Portion it out to last more than the first few months.</i>

I think too much information all at one time sometimes gets lost. If you control the speed of ‘getting to know you…really know you” it increases the mystery, makes them wonder what else there is to know.

I’m not talking about holding back on the deep dark secrets. Or hiding anything that should be put on the table. But rather saving little interesting bits, the smile stories, the wonderful things that make your life complete and sharing these a few at a time.

It’s the difference between having a small treat at grandpa’s every Wednesday, and waking up Christmas morning with a stocking full of all your favorites. Which ones do you really remember now? Personally, I remember the butterscotch’s and licorice at my grandfathers vividly and not much about the Christmas morning candy.  in other words, how to challenge a man is by not giving him everything too fast, but giving him little bits that inspire him to want to know more. A man inspired will rise to the challenge.

Sometimes being a challenge isn’t about what you do, but what you don’t do. Being a challenge is about being yourself and true to yourself. Where women stop being a challenge is when they start sacrificing their wants and needs above his. To be a challenge is simple really. You just don’t do this.It’s not about what you do that makes you a challenge, but more about what you won’t do that makes you a challenge. The more a man watches you stand your ground, the more he respects you, the more he values you and he sees you as a challenge, period. YOU are the challenge. Challenge becomes a noun instead of a verb.<a style=”color: blue; margin-left: -2em;”>&lt;</a>

Learn the Timeless Art of Hard to Get!

Sometimes being a challenge isn’t about what you do, but what you don’t do. Being a challenge is about being yourself and true to yourself. Where women stop being a challenge is when they start sacrificing their wants and needs above his. To be a challenge is simple really. You just don’t do this.It’s not about what you do that makes you a challenge, but more about what you won’t do that makes you a challenge. The more a man watches you stand your ground, the more he respects you, the more he values you and he sees you as a challenge, period. YOU are the challenge. Challenge becomes a noun instead of a verb.

Here are a few things that you may not do for example. You won’t be a late night booty call, you are asleep and don’t answer the phone more than likely. You won’t get out of bed to drive him to the Airport at 4 am Monday morning for a man you have only dated for a few months and have no commitment with. You won’t do his laundry or cook a 5 course meal. The list goes on and on, but it involves on key thing. You don’t sacrifice too much to please him. You won’t step into discomfort for a man.  Challenging a man isn’t about playing games, it’s more about just be who you are and not jump through hoops to do what you think he wants you to do.

Learn the Timeless Art of Hard to Get!