Unless you’re with close friends, it’s hard for many women to admit to a problem in their relationships, which makes it seem like there are very few relationships going through tough times. But between the country’s divorce rate and the number of broken relationships, there are some serious issues facing many couples.
Boredom in a relationship may seem harmless, but it can stem from many other issues.
- Vast differences in values and beliefs: You may have very strong opinion on one issue – and your partner may feel entirely different. As a result, the constant nitpicking, nagging, and arguing can leave you both feeling tired, stressed out, and worn down.
- Lack of communication: Maybe you work opposite shifts. Maybe neither of you has figured out the others’ preferred communication style. Either way, there has been a breakdown in the way you express yourself to your partner, and you’re over the frustration of trying to make it work.
- Different life stages and goals: As we grow, our personalities, interests and characteristics are continually being shaped and influenced. The same goes for your long-term goals for your life and marriage. You might find yourself in a different mindset than your partner.
- Your relationship has become mundane: The thrill and excitement of a new relationship have worn off, the honeymoon is over, and you’ve found yourselves both sinking into the reality of routine.
- Relationship incompatibility: Some relationships just don’t work, but the partners try to force love where it might not exist.
If you’re bored in your relationship, it’s important to look at the real reason for your boredom. Many of these can be resolved by fixing the channels of communication, and being honest and open with your partner. A problem that is never discussed can never be resolved.
Infidelity, Cheating, and Affairs
Infidelity is one of the leading problems facing relationships. Cheating and affairs can bring devastating side-effects to a relationship, including a long-term lack of trust, embarrassment, shame and break-ups, which can be especially devastating when children are involved. Some studies report that one or both spouses in 41 percent of marriages admit to physical or emotional infidelity.
It’s not just men who are at fault. While 57 percent of men admit to being unfaithful in a relationship, 54 percent of women also admit to cheating during a relationship. If you’ve been cheated on, it can be very hard to look at your partner and see a future; this leads to 69 percent of marriages ending after discovering an affair. However, 31 percent of marriages last following a discovery of infidelity, but the repercussions can be long-lasting. It can take a long time to forgive the cheating partner and work through the emotions and situations that came both before and after the affair. Repercussions can also affect children. Whether the couple stays together or breaks up, the children will also have emotional and physical reactions that will need to be addressed.
Thinking through the situation can help you make a clear-headed decision. Some couples will attend counseling or therapy sessions to restore their relationships; others might not feel that they can forgive their partner or that the relationship is worth saving and may choose to end the relationship.
Addiction and Abuse
These are definitely the most severe issues facing relationships.
- Addiction: This can be to both prescription or street drugs, alcohol, or many other things. When people place a higher value on something than on their families and relationships and are willing to pay any price for something that begins to control their moods, finances, and minds, it can cause suspicion, loss of trust and unhappiness. The partner facing the addiction may try and escape even further through their addiction while the rest of the family is relegated to the back seat. Counseling can help the family cope with the situation while the partner dealing with the addition may need more serious therapy and treatment options.
- Abuse: Physical and emotional abuse can be an extreme challenge for any relationship. Abusers have the goal of making their victims suffer, and work to make sure they are silent about the treatment. If you’re in an abusive relationship, whether through physical, verbal or emotional attacks, it’s important to stay calm, walk away, and stay strong. Abusers don’t want to lose control, so when the victim makes the brave decision to leave the relationship, the abuser will make even more of an effort to “change” and try to reconcile.
In these situations, it’s great to have friends to confide in, but finding a professional who can help you work through your emotions and realities can be crucial – even life-saving.
If you want to improve your relationship and nothing is changing, you’ll have to take the first step. Take a hard look at your relationship to find the real issue you are facing. Some difficulties may be solved by improving the lines of communication and others may have more intensive remedies.