I can almost hear a collective gasp as many of you read this headline! Yes, I know it’s often easier said than done to apologize, forgive and forget especially in cases where we feel we have been wronged, hurt or taken extreme advantage of. In these cases we are inclined to hold onto this bad energy from being wronged and cart it around with us for an indefinite period.
Have a think for a minute about that statement… how much room would you need if you were to cart around all the wrongs people had done to you over your years? Would you need a handbag, a briefcase, a suitcase or are we talking more in lines of a shipping container? Okay, I know that sounds a bit ridiculous but do you see where I’m coming from here?
Why do we need to apologize, forgive and forget?
Whatever we hold on to and carry around with us weighs us down. It’s like the feeling you get when you know you’ve put on a little too much weight. Everything you do from getting out of bed, walking around, doing your house work or doing exercise feels harder, more stressful and much more of an effort.
Well, emotional baggage is no different. It affects our mental health as well as our physical health and if carried for a long period can be incredibly detrimental to our lives. So how do we get past this? How do we let things go and move on?
To apologize, forgive and forget is the key to releasing the burden that you carry with you. So let’s break it down…
Apologize – If you’re wrong and you know you’re wrong don’t muck around just face the fact and apologize. Gosh we are all human and we all make mistakes. Be the better person and own your mistake. If however you don’t feel that you are wrong then don’t apologize for that. Instead have a look at the part you played. Was there anything that you said or did that might have fueled the situation? If that’s the case then apologize for the part you played.
Forgive – Don’t hold grudges and be quick to forgive. This takes an issue out of your head that’s going around on instant replay. The longer you hold onto something the more you will replay it and continue to attract negative thought patterns and negative outcomes. See my blog on Forgiveness to get a better understanding of how it affects you. Remember, by forgiving someone you are not necessarily accepting their behavior as okay you are simply releasing yourself from it.
Forget – Make a concentrated effort not to hold on to bad thoughts and bad experiences. Remember the only person you have control over is yourself so make the choice to let go of what others are doing or have done. Once you have let go it can no longer define or damage you.
Make a stand my wonderful readers to live a life with grace and ease and truly appreciate all that is good around you. By releasing yourself or refusing to engage in drama and negativity in your life you will forge stronger and more meaningful relationships. That is exactly what happens when you apologize, forgive and forget.
On closing I would like to share something with those readers that are married or in a a committed relationship but having struggles or challenges that they are keen to overcome.
My friend Lee H Baucom has a wonderful program dedicated to helping couples reunite and regain that level of love and intimacy that they desire when they fear all is heading towards the rocks. Check it out here at
Remember, relationships are always a work in progress and don’t just magically happen on their own. Like anything good in life we have to work at it to keep it that way or to step it up and make it great.
I know it’s not always going to be appropriate to apologize, forgive and forget but work it into your lives as much as you practically can and you will see a huge difference.