Now you see him, now you don’t, your boyfriend that is. He’s here one minute and gone the next and you are left wondering why he disappeared and how could he have done that to you. Maybe he wasn’t actually your boyfriend yet, just someone you were dating or spending time with. He was coming on strong, and you felt like he was moving towards a relationship. So what happened?
Did you do something wrong and is that why he disappeared?
On the lovegirltalk forum, there are many women who are wondering what happened when their guy disappears.
They have questions like:
Why would he just be a coward and just stop calling?
Why just disappear instead of coming straight out and telling me he was breaking up or didn’t want to see me anymore?
What did I do wrong? I don’t understand.
And, many, many more…
So we analyze and try to come up with answers as to why men disappear, especially when things are going so good. It can drive us crazy when men disappear. I know many women that this keeps happening to. They meet a great guy, go out on a few dates for a few weeks or even months and poof, he disappears. Not a good feeling at all, I know.
Here is my point though and a different way to look at it. Instead of wondering why he disappeared or what happened, ask yourself this. Why did I accept this man into my life so soon? Did I really know him after just a few dates or weeks or even months? Why would I give away my heart so freely? It is a precious and valuable.
You see we can ask these questions about why or how he did what he did as in he disappeared or just stopped calling and texting and we may never get the answers. It’s a waste of your emotional energy. Perhaps it is something you did or something about the way he felt or didn’t feel with you. That’s irrelevant really, because just as you didn’t really know him, nor did he really know you. ‘
People change their minds. I am sure you have changed yours a time or two as well. Don’t take it personally. Take this as an opportunity to learn about not just what is up with why he disappeared, but what role did you play into it. Maybe you jumped in too fast before he had proven to you that he was a man of integrity. Maybe you listened more to his words when you should have been watching his actions or lack of them.
Usually there are signs that we just choose not to see. Do you know how to pace a relationship so that it is more likely to last? Do you know that men often act on impulse early on and aren’t really thinking so much about the future? Do you know that men and people in general value what they work hardest for? There is much to learn about relationships and how men relate. They aren’t women, and they don’t think like we do as a general rule, that I can assure you.
So he disappeared. Shake yourself off. Do you really want a man that disappears in your life to start with. If he does come back, will you feel assured that he won’t do it again? Let him go. Holding onto a man that isn’t holding onto you is futile.