If you have just been dumped or suspect you are about to be dumped by your boyfriend, how to handle a breakup with grace is far more important than you can imagine. Often when our hearts are broken, we find ourselves acting from a place of emotion and we take actions that we later regret. We send texts, emails or call and we compromise our dignity. Months down the road if you didn’t know how to handle a break up with grace, you may find yourself living with a lot of regrets and what ifs. These are the things that drive you crazy in the night and keep you awake.
Are You Struggling With How To Handle A Breakup?
One break up I will never forget I sent that email. You know the one. Where you have convinced yourself that if you tell him how you really feel, he may magically transform and love you again. You have convinced yourself that you at least have to try. Yes, I have sent that email. Lucky for me, the said dumper stopped me in my tracks with his reply and insured that I would never do it again. He sent back “Robin, you are acting like a love sick school girl”. Ughh, shot through the heart, but he was so right.
When a man breaks up with you, no matter how he does it, don’t fight it. He may even do it in a cowardly way, such as text or just disappear off the face of the earth. I have seen about all of the scenarios on my forum at lovegirltalk. Funny, when a woman is going through it, she feels her situation is unique, but from the outside looking in, it rarely if ever is anymore unique than the next woman’s story. The man has exited the relationship, case closed. He has stopped investing.
To argue or suggest you can work it out is not the answer. It may even reinforce his decision. When a man has made this decision, regardless of how, to suggest he change his mind, he will feel that you don’t trust his judgement. He will also feel your attempts at trying to control him, for to try to persuade him otherwise is controlling. As much as it hurts, as hard as it is, you must first respect and accept his decision. It’s up to him if he changes his mind later, and you trying to change it for him will make his mind changing far less likely.
Do your very best not to cry, save it for when he is no longer around. Scream at the moon, cry in your bed, call your girlfriends, but don’t cry in front of him. Don’t hang around after he has delivered the news. Walk away as fast as you can. I know you want him to know how much he has hurt you and you want him to feel your pain, but really it is counterproductive. It just brings it home to him even more that he is responsible for your happiness. I am here to tell you that is a huge responsibility to bear and not a very fun one at that.
If you don’t know how to handle a breakup, and you at this time want him back, crying, pleading, bargaining with him will just push him further away. It’s best to just go and see if he misses you. The most important thing you can do now is to put all your energy into focusing on you now, not on him.
Go in No Contact. No calls, no texts, no email, no smoke signals. Grieve if you want, but don’t contact him. If you have already been clingy in this relationship, this would by far get his attention faster than if you harassed him. He is probably expecting your to reach out so be unpredictable.
In time, and it will take time, you may find that he really isn’t the man for you or the man you thought he was. I know it doesn’t feel like that now. Sad endings do turn into happy beginnings.
One last tip on how to handle a breakup. Think of yourself as the little girl you once were. She has been hurt by someone and she needs you above all others to take care of her. If you were a little girl, would you want your parent to leave you with someone who didn’t want you? Would you do that to your little girl and hurt her even more? This is the time to self parent. Nurture and take care of yourself. Only lean on those you trust completely. He isn’t one of those people anymore.
Bob Grant, relationship therapist has written the greatest book on breakups. I have read it and hundreds of my readers have read it and it was a lifesaver. Sure the title says something about get your ex back, but really, there is far more to this book than that. I have read a lot of these relationship books and many of them are total crap, I know. This one is not. It’s no nonsense, no promises of a magical formula to get your ex back, but if you follow it’s advice, I can guarantee that you will get your self respect back and you will get you back. You will learn exactly how to handle a breakup with grace! You can find it here> Bob Grant, Get Your Ex Back.