What are the Rules For Texting Guys
There are rules for texting guys believe it or not. I don’t mean a rule book per say, though there are quite a few interesting books out there on proper texting and texting and dating. You see you really do reveal a lot about yourself by the way you interact, call and text guys. Many unknowingly appear needy or desperate. Some put off the opposite message without knowing it. They appear aloof or uninterested.
What messages are you sending out or what impression do guys get from your texting techniques? I think you might be surprised how valuable a tool this really is if you are in the dating world. Do you know what it says to a guy if you are always the first on to text? Do you realize how he views you if you send him a good morning text everyday? Read further for lots of tips and many basic rules for texting guys.
Should I Text Him First
If you are wondering should I text him first, it depends. Let’s say you met a guy and he gave you his number and asked you to call or text. It sure won’t hurt anything to show some initial interest. If on the other hand you have established communication and he only answers your texts that you send first, it might be time to stop and not text him first anymore.
Also keep in mind a guy that gives you his number and doesn’t make the effort to get yours may not be that interested in you. This isn’t always the case, there are a few shyer guys out there, but don’t use shy as an excuse. Understand that every guy that gives you his number is not always dying to enter a relationship with you. Some just do from a place of their egos.
Some women text first for the wrong reasons, one of being a feeling of out of control. What I mean is that the guy has not yet texted them first or hasn’t texted them yet, so they try to control the outcome and send that text. A guys timetable isn’t the same as a woman’s. A day of no contact seems like forever for a woman, but to a man it’s often nothing. When you continue to text first and take control, you are in essence telling him that you don’t trust him to follow through. Guys need to be trusted.
Also understand that you may not be the only girl texting him. When you continue to text him first, you might as well wear a sign that says, pick me, pick me! Not very attractive is it and it often comes of as desperate.
Not too long ago I went out with my single girlfriend. She met this guy and they hit it off. He acted really interested in her. They had an amazing connection. They danced, talked, laughed and at the end of the night he got her number. Three days go by and he has yet to call. What is going on here. She calls me and asks should she text him first. I say no!
Now 10 days go by. She held firm to my advice. Guess what? He texted.. Men are used to women texting them all the time because there are a lot of women out there who are on the desperate side. . They are getting used to women doing their work for them because so many women act on their insecurities and fall into this trap of leading.
When a woman is not so anxious she is more appealing. He thinks she just might be different. She isn’t chasing me so maybe she has other options. Competitiveness can cause a man to take action. It’s a good thing to let a guy think you have other options and hopefully you do. It’s silly to invest into a guy you just met and often leads to disappointment.
When Should I Text or Call Him First
When should I text him or when should I call him is a question I get asked a lot. Usually women who are asking this question are wanting to progress things right along and it is often when they first meet a guy. If he isn’t texting or calling, they want to know if it’s okay to text him or call him.
Women also often want to know if a guy is interested. Here is a common mistake made when texting. They begin initiating texts first often. The guy responds so they keep doing it. Here is the thing. If you are texting and calling him first, how on earth will you know if in fact he is interested? Many mistake a guy being polite for interest.
If he isn’t texting you back and you think, well I will just text him again, stop, think again. If he isn’t texting you back, that is your clue that his level of interest does not match yours. If you keep texting, you can be sure his level of interest may never match yours. Texting a guy who isn’t answering is desperate behavior, don’t do it. If you are one of those women who go back and check your outbox to make sure the message was sent, you may want to rethink things. You are apparently way more invested into him than he is into you.
Many make up excuses to text guys. They see something that reminds them of him or find something they think he will like and share it with him. If he is sharing with you also, this is fine. If he isn’t sharing though, back off. It’s sort of creepy and over accommodating, almost like you are trying too hard to make him like you, when he should be also hoping you will like him as well.
So when should you call or text him first? When he is texting you first as well, and he is your boyfriend or is on the same page as you. If you are doing it hoping to control some sort of outcome, stop, don’t text him first or call him first.
He Texts but Never Asks Me Out or Makes Plans
Oh boy, the guy who lives in your phone. He texts, regularly at that, but never asks you out. You keep thinking one day he will, but another weekend goes by, it’s Sunday and no date. Confusing so why does he keep texting?
It could be many things. He could be more interested in someone else who may not be as interested in him. He could have a girlfriend. If either of these are true, he is keeping you on the back burner as an option. He is giving you enough attention to give you hope and keep you hanging on.
This guy when cornered, often says maybe, or may even say yes, to only come up with an excuse when the time comes. Chances are, something he thought was better came along. Do you honestly think he is a hermit that stays home and does nothing? If he is going out with friends, having a life, and not including you, chances are good he just doesn’t see you in that life.
Think back. Have you ever really liked one guy, yet he wasn’t stepping up, while another guy you didn’t like as much was giving you attention. Did you ever just keep him around for a while as a distraction? I think many of us have, so why is it so hard to understand when it is done to us.
What to do When All His Texts are Sexual
I hear this a lot from women. They have met a guy that they are interested in and the guy keeps texting about sexual things. He may even ask if you want pics or ask you to send him pics. So how do you get him to stop. There are many ways to do this, but one thing is for sure, it should be done sooner rather than later. If you play along, then change the rules, that’s not really fair. So you have to stop it before it begins.
I have used the line “So….is this normal for you, to share naked pics to someone you just met?”. That usually does the trick. If he tries to still persuade you, then you may as well accept the fact that sex is all he is after and he may not be a quality guy after all. A guy that really wants to impress a girl will not want to sext right off the bat. If he is lining you up as another notch in his belt, he will continue.
There is nothing wrong with just saying something like “Gee, I really like you, but this is making me uncomfortable”. Don’t sext with a guy just to get him to like you, because it won’t really be you he is liking if you know what I mean.
Put your boundaries down if a man is only wanting to send sexual messages. I can remember a time in my younger days when there was no such thing as cell phones. I had started dating a guy that wanted to have phone sex after just a few dates. It was so awkward. I declined and we continued to date. He would still try and get me to have phone sex so I broke it off. It was weird. Later I found out that he was a youth minister in a church and had been dismissed from his position for fondling young girls.
This just goes to show that if you are just getting to know a guy, don’t sext with him, you just never know who he really is. If you have been dating for a long time, sure, go ahead, if you are sure you can trust him. Otherwise, it’s best to just say no.
Should I Sext Him
Should I sext him is a question that many women ask a lot. We as women know that we can almost always get a man to answer our texts if we put a little sexual suggestion into it. While this is all fine and well, I do think sexting has it’s place. Sexting is okay if you want the following.
1. A romp in the hay
2. A friends with benifits that probably won’t make it to relationship
3. A hook up
In other words, while sexual banter is fun, if you are wanting more from a man it may not be the way to go. Almost all guys will try to get you to sext. Some even want nude pictures or pics of your breast or you in a bikini. Resist this temptation for instant attention from the man. This is a sure way to get instant gratification and attention, but it won’t last.
Men often do this subconsciously to test you. Sure they want to see or sext, but in reality, when you give in, often they put you into the category of non relationship material. Down the road they will question it mark my words. They will think, hmmm, if she gives in so easily with me, surely she will with someone else as well. In other words they don’t feel so special. Men like a woman that can make them feel special, trust me.
Men will sext with you all day if you allow it, no doubt. Don’t flatter yourself though. Sexting is a guys way of filtering his selections. He moves you into sex material and out of relationship material if you give in too soon to his sexual banter also know as sexting. Resist the temptation and his respect will soar for you. If it doesn’t, well he was looking for a fling anyway and you have just filtered him…..out the door.
Sexting is great inside of an established relationship. It adds fun and anticipation and can ignite the spark over and over again, but outside of a relationship it can be a disaster.
How to Get a Guy To Text You
I get asked this question a lot. How to get a guy to text you. A lot depends on the circumstances. As a rule, if a guy is interested in you, he will text you and he will text you first without you prodding of leading him. Most of the time when this question is asked, the answer is simple. You don’t. If he is interested he will initiate, if he isn’t he won’t.
On the other hand if you have just met and he has your number there are ways. Usually humor is a good one. Sometimes guys need a llitle bait, but just a little. Don’t go overboard. I have texted a guy before and said something like “So, did you just need another contact in your phone or do you plan on using it? Add a smiley please, or else he could take it the wrong way.
Once a guy that had got my number and weeks had gone by and he had not made contact. I ran into him in a grocery store and I smiled held my hand out and said, “If you aren’t going to use my number, could you kindly give it back”. I had written it on a piece of paper. He called the next day and asked me out. Sometimes a little push is all it takes. If he doesn’t take the bait, step away from the phone, you have done your part.
If you are always texting him first and he answers, that doesn’t count for how to get a guy to text you. If he isn’t doing it on his own, it’s not worth much.
He Gave Me His Number Should I Text Him
So you are wondering what to do when a guy give you his number. Do you call? Do you text? Are you supposed to initiate? What does he expect you to do when he gives you his number.
Many say get with the times, it’s 2011. What’s the big deal? We are equals to men right? I disagree. I still am from the old school that if a man is truly interested, he will do the initiating, but let me explain my view further.
When a man tells you to call him, often it’s because he just isn’t interested enough to put any effort into it but would welcome a distraction or a back burner girl. There are exceptions to this rule of course, but more times than not, it a man wants to get to know you, he will ask for your number and call you.
Of course then you have the guys who are lazy, insecure, or just plain wounded from the past. They forgot how to pursue a woman or just don’t feel like putting in the effort. Some of these men haven’t healed and really aren’t in a proper place to be in a relationship or don’t actually know what it is they want. Often the man that gives you his number and says call him is one of these men.
Remember as a teenager how it felt when the guy you liked called you? You would call your girlfriends and scream with delight, even jump up and down. We may not get so carried away, but we still feel this way inside when the man we like calls us. To call him would deny us this thrill. It also denies him the thrill of the chase and the opportunity to win your attention. By calling men first you are screwing with the male/female dynamics.
So what do you do when a man gives you his number and asks you to call? Here is one solution. If you are in person, use the trick many pick up artist use, get your number in his phone right there on the spot. Say, why thank you, why don’t I call you now and you can save my number in your phone. Now you do just that with him standing right there. He saves your number. Smile at him sweetly and say, “Thank you, I just called you, now it’s your turn”.
Texting Guys You Meet Online
I am adding this article because a lot of the questions in the comments section are about texting guys that you met online . When dating online it’s common to exchange numbers pretty early on and this is when the texting begins. Usually there are texts and phone calls before an actual meetup. The issues that I have noticed have been guys that start out texting often and then just stop. Another issue is guys that text but never move towards an actual meeting. Then there is the guy that stops texting after meeting.
The main thing to remember and that will help you is this. When online dating, his options and yours are many. It’s doubtful that you are the only one he is pursuing and talking too. Many begin to already have expectations with the exchange of phone numbers. You can save yourself a lot of grief and useless worry if you have the mindset that it may or may not lead to anything. It’s too early to have expectations and if he senses you do, he may disappear.
First issue is a guy that begins texting before meeting and then stops before you ever meet up. I get lots of mail about this. Women contacting me asking me “why did he stop texting me” or “how can I get him to text me”, or even “did he lose interest”. Here is the thing. As I said earlier, you probably aren’t the only one he is in contact with. If he stops texting, he most likely met someone that caught his interest and is pursuing her. It’s really that simple, so just let it go and move onto the next date or prospect.
Then there is the perpetual texter that lives in your phone and never makes the effort to actually meet. This is so very common. When I was dating online I can’t tell you how many times this happened to me. Guys do this usually to keep you in a hold pattern or as an option. A lot of times they are more interested in another woman and are waiting to see where it goes before they move in on you.
Then last but not least the guy you finally do meet and he was all gung ho at the beginning, texting you like crazy, but now that you have met, it’s radio silence. What happened here is for some reason or another he just didn’t feel the spark. If you have already texted him that you had a good time or better yet, told him at the end of the date, your part is done. Don’t be one of those women who continue to text a guy that hasn’t texted you. I am sure as you continue with this online dating you will be able to relate to the not feeling the spark. You simply aren’t going to feel it with every guy you go out with.
In general the main thing to keep in mind is that early on, he is most likely talking to and making plans to see others. If he stops texting, don’t take it personal, it’s going to happen and probably more than once. Online dating is a numbers game. Should I text him? Don’t waste your time texting or going after a guy who isn’t doing the same towards you. Just move on and do what always did, say “NEXT”!